What They Really Do and How to Overcome Them
Are You Caught in the Anxiety Trap?
Did you know that nearly 60% of UK adults have experienced anxiety that interfered with their daily lives in the past two weeks? Yet, despite the prevalence of anxiety, many people aren’t fully aware of how their everyday habits contribute to it. Anxiety is a master influencer, utilising a squad of mental "defenders" that serve to protect us in one way but often keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns. Let’s take a closer look at these key players—Procrastination, Avoidance, Perfectionism, Control, and Ego—and explore how they might be holding you back.
1. Procrastination: The Sneaky Postponer
“I’ll do it tomorrow…”
Procrastination is that familiar voice telling you that tomorrow will be a better day to tackle a difficult task. In the UK, procrastination is a widespread issue, with an estimated 20-25% of people identifying as chronic procrastinators. This habit is particularly common among students and those in high-stress jobs. While delaying tasks may provide temporary relief, it often leads to increased anxiety as deadlines approach and tasks pile up.
Signs of Procrastination: Constantly delaying important tasks, cleaning or organising to avoid starting work, and often finding yourself rushing at the last minute.
This defence’s superpower: Creating an illusion of stress relief by postponing the task. However, this only intensifies anxiety as the pressure to complete the task increases over time. How to stop procrastination: Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps and reward yourself for completing each one.
2. Avoidance: The Great Escapist
“If I don’t think about it, it’s not real…”
Avoidance convinces you that steering clear of uncomfortable situations will make them disappear. Yet, this behaviour only exacerbates anxiety in the long run. According to recent reports, 26% of UK adults felt anxiety so severe it stopped them from doing what they wanted or needed to do. Avoidance might feel like a safe strategy, but it deepens the cycle of fear and anxiety.
Signs of Avoidance: Ignoring tasks or responsibilities, frequently finding distractions, or avoiding situations or people that might cause discomfort.
This defence’s superpower: Offering temporary relief from discomfort, but the issues you avoid don’t go away. Instead, they often become more intimidating and harder to confront. How to Overcome Avoidance: Gradually expose yourself to the situations you’ve been avoiding. Start with small steps and build your confidence.
3. Perfectionism: The Overachiever’s Trap
“It’s not good enough until it’s perfect…”
Perfectionism can seem like a positive trait, but it often leads to unrealistic standards and increased stress. In the UK, perfectionism is becoming more common, especially among younger generations, contributing to higher rates of anxiety and burnout. The relentless pursuit of perfection can result in paralysis, where you end up doing nothing because of the fear that it won’t be perfect.
Signs of Perfectionism: All-or-nothing thinking, spending excessive time on details, reluctance to start tasks unless conditions are “ideal,” and postponing tasks due to fear of imperfection.
This defence’s superpower: Perfectionism gives you a sense of control, reducing the fear of failure or judgment. However, this often leads to procrastination and overwhelming stress, making tasks seem insurmountable.
How to overcome Perfectionism: Set realistic goals and remind yourself that “done” is better than “perfect.”
4. Control: The False Sense of Security
“If I can control everything, I can prevent disaster…”
Control is the defender that tries to manage every detail of life, believing that this will prevent anything bad from happening. In reality, trying to control everything only adds to your stress levels. Anxiety related to control is a significant issue in the UK, with nearly 32% of people citing financial stress, for example, as a major source of anxiety.
Signs of needing Control: Micromanaging your environment, excessive planning, becoming distressed when plans change, and trying to control others’ actions to avoid unexpected outcomes.
This defence’s superpower: Control, provides an illusion of safety by making you believe that if you manage every aspect of your life, you can avoid pain. But this often leads to more anxiety as you struggle to keep everything under control.
How to Overcome the Need to Control: Practice letting go of things you can’t control and focus on what you can influence.
5. Ego: The Carousel of Selves
“What will people think of me?”
Ego is perhaps the most complex member of Anxiety’s Defence Squad. It’s the chameleon that wears different masks depending on the situation—a carousel of selves that rotate depending on who you’re with or what you’re trying to achieve. On one end of the scale, this might simply mean showing slightly different sides of yourself to your best friend versus your grandmother. However, ego can develop into more entrenched characters that serve to protect you in the moment but ultimately hinder your growth. For instance, consider the Star Performer, who needs to stand out above others rather than include them. This character seeks validation through constant achievement, often leading to isolation and burnout. Another example is the Eternal Victim, who always seeks support and inadvertently sabotages their own growth by avoiding responsibility and change.
Signs of Ego-driven Behaviours: Frequently changing your behaviour or opinions depending on who you’re with, seeking constant validation, avoiding vulnerability, and feeling disconnected from your authentic self.
This defence’s superpower: The carousel of selves that ego creates helps you navigate social situations and avoid rejection or judgment. But this constant shifting can prevent you from being authentic, leading to a disconnection from your true self and from others.
Overcoming Ego Defences: Challenge your fears of judgment by stepping out of your comfort zone. Take small social risks to practice authenticity and build confidence.
Working with Defences; counselling in Yeovil
At our counselling practice in Yeovil, working with these defences—Procrastination, Avoidance, Perfectionism, and Control—is a key part of our approach. These “defenders” aren’t inherently bad; they developed for a reason, often to help you navigate complex and challenging situations when straightforward solutions weren’t available. They served to protect you at a time when you might not have had the tools or support to face certain issues directly.
Instead of trying to push these defences away, we focus on understanding them. When these defenders show up, it’s a sign that there’s unresolved business—something deeper that needs attention. By spotting these patterns, we can work together to identify the underlying issues, repair old wounds, and help you move forward in a healthier, more balanced way.
Our goal is not to dismantle these defences outright but to raise awareness of them, understand their origins, and ultimately transform them into healthier coping strategies that serve you better in your current life.
These defence mechanisms might feel like they’re protecting you, but they often do more harm than good. By recognising and addressing them, you can begin to dismantle Anxiety’s Defence Squad and start living a life that’s more authentic, connected, and free from unnecessary stress.Connect with us on social media to find more tips and resources.
If you're not in commutable distance to Yeovil, we offer online counselling sessions where you can speak confidentially. Follow us for more on our seocials for more tips and resources.
Rferences:
For further information and to see the full statistics, you can refer to the reports from the Mental Health Foundation
Ferrari JR, Díaz-Morales JF. Procrastination and mental health coping: A brief report related to students. Individual Differences Research. 2014;12(1):8–11.
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